The Russian Interior ministry has created a campaign for safe selfies in mid-2015. But, this is propaganda, plain and simple. Everyone knows Russian people drink bears and fight with vodka on their dashcams. This is the real truth behind the БЕЗОПАСНОГО СЕЛФИ they don't want you to know.
You should know that we have learned Russian from watching the hunt for the Red October until the VHS ate the tape. Also, typing https://translate.google.com/ is for wusses.
So, here is a translation so free, it is almost American.
How to take safe selfies, comrade
You see, Ivan, when you hold camera with one hand, you drop camera. Grab camera with both hand, steer with feet. Camera expensive, Yugo cheap.
First start race, then take selfie, Vladimir. People have bets on race, can't wait you.
Wait until train driver in shot to take selfie. Etiquette of train, simple super stuff.
Remember, Mikael, first shoot, then shoot. Don't change order, or trouble happen.
When you go on Christmas tree for selfie, become angel on top, not branch. Shoot for top.
When you take king of world selfie, you be at front of boat, not back. Change name to Oscar, because you make DiCaprio cry.
Little left. Little right. No, too right. Very good. Now hold until super bowl over.
Don't take selfie in front of big cat, big cat jealous because big cat poor. Doesn't even has cheese burger.
When you tell "I take selfie when I train", this is not what I think.
If you drop too much on stair, after years there will be no stair, only slide and balls. Think of stair.
Got any other tips for safe selfies?
Selfies can be art, just like a crucifix in urine can be art, and that stuff earned an award too, so there's that. If you have any award-winning tips for safe selfies, leave us a comment.
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